Day 5 wrap-up

In one of the more surreal weeks of my life, this was definitely the most surreal day. I’m closing in on 30,000 downloads of the diaries. I did interviews today. INTERVIEWS. Me, the dumbass eating monkey food. I’ll post links as I find them – let me know if you find them first. I’ve never felt so blogged.

I still can’t get over the support people are giving me. I’ve been called a genius and an amazing human being. Wonderful people have offered me home-cooked meals (is everyone in Nebraska so nice?). Women have claimed to find me attractive, with one suspecting she may love me (she might not be eating chow, but she’s clearly on the vodka).

Keeping my ego in check is the fact that I have also been outsmarted by many young children – I should have eaten some fruit. I get it. Back off kids!

The zookeeper, food-science, and monkey-lab technician communities cannot be thanked enough for their sound advice. Who knew?

But most importantly, everyone who has said “keep it up” should know that they are the only reason I have in fact kept it up.

Quick responses to viewer comments

Looks like blogger is back up, at least partially. So I’ll try to get some responses in while I can.

  • No, I have not picked ticks off friends and eaten them. Eating ants off a stick does however sound more tempting than it ever has before.
  • I don’t even put ketchup on people food, so putting it on monkey food is one of the more stomache churning ideas I’ve heard. I almost feel like I should congratulate those who suggested it. That’s actually the closest I’ve come to throwing up.
  • No, I have not increased my vertical leap. If you think white men cant jump, you should see nutritionally deprived white men.
  • As much as it pains me to admit it, I have been convinced that a big steak after 7 days of barely eating may be yet another dumb idea. I refuse, however, to return to the land of people food by eating a banana. Some melon maybe.

There has been some funny coverage of this bad idea. But my favourite, without a doubt was the interview with Stephen Johnson

I’m tired. My head hurts. And I actually cut my gums on a piece of chow. But the finish line is close. My last people food meal was last Friday dinner at 9pm. So this Friday at 9pm the experiment closes. There will be another diary tomorrow, and hopefully some footage of me on the real food when its over.

Timeout for Something That Matters

I’ve never pretended the Monkey Chow Diaries is about anything other than me amusing myself and anybody else who cared to watch. But in the course of this week, one thing I have grown to understand like never before is how bad hunger sucks.

At the end of the week, I’ll be making a donation to Bread for the World. I’m not associated with them in any way, but they do good work that matters. A number of people have said they wanted to donate along with me, so I invite you to give to Bread or anyone else who helps feed people. And feel free to list other worthy food-based charities in the comments section here.

Day 7 Video

Day 7 video is up. Sorry that it includes nothing as funny as yesterday’s monkey shots for breakfast. Hard to be creative on day 7. I’ll try to get some first meal footage tonight. Chief Medical and Science Advisor Scooby has recommended we whip up some home-made sausages. This flies in the face of hundreds of emails I recieved recommending a slow transition. This is exactly why I have Scooby on board.

I’ll also post some more thoughts on the experience as my head clears. Overall I feel pretty good today. My mood is improving and pulling my health up with it.

Day 8 Recap

So, what was the first meal after 7 days of monkey food? Homemade sausages and organic beer of course.

Technically, the first food I ate was caramel corn, because that’s all I had in the house and I knew it would take a while for Scooby, me and Chemical (front to back in the photo below – The Inhibitor is behind the camera) to make the sausages.

And how did I know it would take a long time? Because this is the kind of antic you can expect when drunk guys make sausage. 7 days on the monkey diet, and Chemical still insisted on making a poo joke before I could eat.

My bowels fared much better than Chemi’s. No ill effects whatsoever from the return to people food. Maybe the chow diet isn’t so bad afterall. And I do still have another 30 pounds…

Monkey Food Auction

At the request of a number of people, I have put the leftover chow up for auction. I know lots of you wanted to buy just one chow, but shipping and transaction costs were going to make that a pain in the arse. I’d rather swing for the fence.

All proceeds will go to World Vision. Maybe there’s someone out there who really enjoyed the Diaries and has a lot of cash kicking around. In that case, World Vision will get a lot of cash. Let’s hope so.